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Ashley Cain defends night out at Strictly Come Dancing tour as he reveals heartbreaking mental health battle after Azaylia’s death


Ashley is still grieving the death of his daughter Azaylia (Picture: @ashleycain, Instagram)

Ashley Cain has shared a heartbreaking post detailing his mental health struggles and hitting back at trolls criticising him for enjoying a night out following the death of his daughter Azaylia.

The former Ex On The Beach star attended the latest Strictly Come Dancing tour show on Saturday alongside a group of friends and his brother Matty. 

During the evening, Ashley, 31, shared video of him dancing in his seat and later photos of him smiling and joking around with his friends.

However, it appears trolls bombarded the reality star with hateful messages for simply trying to enjoy a night out after a difficult year. 

Ashley and his partner Safiyya Vorajee had endured a highly publicised battle to seek treatment for their baby girl Azaylia, who was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia, a rare form of cancer. 

Azaylia died in April at just eight months old and her parents are naturally still grieving her death. 

In his heartbreaking Instagram post alongside photos from last night, Ashley wrote: ‘Maybe I am even borrowing my smile because my eyes tell a different story and I know that soon I will have to trade my happiness back again for the pain that aches my heart. 

‘Maybe I just wanted to try and enjoy myself for one evening and replace the suicidal thoughts I have everyday since my daughter passed away in my arms with an attempted happy couple of hours. 

‘Maybe I have more illness in my family that I have chose not to mention because it is too tough to deal with after losing my daughter and my grandma in such quick succession. Maybe all of the above is true, or maybe it’s just parts of it.’ 

The TV star went on to explain how he is ‘trying to be a pillar of strength’ for his loved ones, including Safiyya and even his followers. 

‘But I feel that the stronger I am, the more people judge, the more people attack and the more they try and bring me down,’ he said. 

‘You couldn’t believe what trolling, harassment and bribery people try to use against me on a daily basis. What horrendous lengths people go to in regards to personal attacks on my daughter, myself and everyone close to me.’ 

Ashley and Safiyya fought tirelessly to try and save Azaylia (Picture: PA)

Showing the extent of his mental health battle, Ashley added: ‘Sometimes I feel like the only way these people who don’t even know me will stop, is if I kill myself. 

‘They don’t understand the pain I am going through and the consequences their actions have on everyone around me. I am a person with a past who is trying to be better. As I write this I remain calm as I am not afraid of death, neither will my path be altered because of hate.’ 

He continued: ‘I am however hurt that people want to go to all lengths of bitterness and hatred, speculation and variations of lies to discredit a person trying to smile, trying to be better, trying to keep his daughters name alive and trying to make a difference for childhood cancer, mental health and the warriors who are fighting it. 

‘Maybe one day people will understand, maybe they won’t. Maybe by the time they do, it will be too late. 

‘Maybe they will read this and think more wisely how to spend there time. Maybe they will understand now why I have to go to the extreme lengths I do, why it is so important to me and for those around me why I have to.’ 

Azaylia was just eight months old (Picture: PA)

Ashley was flooded with supportive messages in the comments, with Safiyya writing: ‘You shouldn’t have to explain your self to anyone! What we have gone through is the worst pain anyone could ever experience!Shame on anyone that try’s to bring hate & negativity! Be proud 🥲 Stand strong and be yourself!’

Fearne Cotton said: ‘ou never ever have to explain your pain or the full extent of your life to anyone Ashley. You and Safiyya have generously let us all into your world and shared your story to help so many others.

‘You have built a beautiful community of people who truly care. Only take note of those. They are the only comments that count.’

Giovanna Fletcher commented: ‘So many have nothing but love and respect for you. We can never control the minds of others and trying to reason with those few voices is often a waste of our energy – you have brilliant energy that you are doing so much good with. SO MUCH LOVE is swirling around because of you!’

Calum Best said in a lengthy message: ‘Brother here always !

‘F**k the people that don’t know , you know urself , you shouldn’t have to deal with any outside opinions of what u do in life let alone what u do to help others , it’s a serious weight to carry what ur going through and anybody who questions ur motives, reasoning , spendings or whatever it may be is a low form of human .

‘Know this as we spoke on it , ur loss takes over any amount raised , the fact u choose to do well with money raised is a credit to u but these p****s should not make u feel like u need to justify any moves or that u can’t live ur life cause of where they think it’s going , that is ur choice and urs alone on top of already dealing with some of the worst pain we know as humans , grieving . Much love from me to u and urs brother.’

Since Azaylia’s death nearly nine months ago, Ashley and Safiyya have started The Azaylia Foundation to raise awareness of and contribute towards the fight against childhood cancer. 

In a recent interview, Safiyya said it ‘would be beautiful’ if she and Ashley could have another child.


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