A two-year-old boy born with brain damage because of his mother’s drinking has met her for the first time at the rehab center where she is receiving treatment. Henry Norman was taken by his adoptive mother Tamra Norman, to meet the woman in the hope that he’d help inspire her to turn over a new leaf.
Henry was adopted by Tamra and her husband when he was one week old, having been born with irreversible brain damage and growth problems caused by alcohol exposure during his mother’s pregnancy. His special needs could have been avoided, but devout Christian Tamra, from Little Rock in Arkansas, says she still wants Henry to have a relationship with his biological mom.
Tamra, 38, said: ‘It was emotionally a completely overwhelming moment. She was very grateful, but was very apologetic and had a ton of guilt for the choices she made when she was pregnant.
‘It was never my vision for Henry to meet his birth mom like this, but as time went on I realized I needed to let Henry meet her to help her put her life back together.
‘I felt it was important to talk to her about the fetal alcohol syndrome so she can see why she needs to change. I was scared to death and did not know what to expect.
‘There would be nothing better for Henry than to have another strong woman in his life and there would be no better example for him than to see her overcome the challenges she has.
‘I hope that seeing him gives her the motivation she needs to change her ways. We want her to be a part of Henry’s life.’
Tamra and her 38-year-old husband, James, have five children in total but only two, Tray, 14, and Addison, 11, are biologically theirs. Sisters, Annalise, eight, and Grace, seven, as well as Henry, aged two, have all been adopted by the Normans.
The couple adopted Annalise and Grace were in 2014 and welcomed Henry into their family home two years ago, in 2018.
To date they have fostered around 24 children and have now settled down into their life as a family of five.
‘We decided to start fostering because we saw there was a huge demand where we live for foster parents, there just isn’t enough’, said Tamra.
‘It feels amazing to love another child like they never have been before.
‘We did it to make a huge difference. We have always been taught to do what we can to love other humans.’
The latest addition to the Norman family, Henry, arrived with challenges that have resulted from his mother’s battle against alcoholism during pregnancy, Tamra added.
She explained how she and barge broker, James, received a call from their local Division of Child and Family Services to ask if they would take Henry, who had been born five weeks premature and removed from his mom’s care by social services.
Their initial answer was no, but after some persuading the couple found themselves at Henry’s bedside at their local hospital’s neonatal intensive care unit and quickly agreed to raise him as their own. Henry’s condition means he has mental delays, learning difficulties and problems with his speech and growth.
Tamra said: ‘His mom was going through an awful lot and he did not have any contact with her until we went to visit recently. But we have been in continuous contact with Henry’s birth father and he helped to set up our meeting with his mom.
‘I’ve always felt as though it’s the best case scenario for parents to keep their children in the first place, but it’s natural for my kids to want to know about their heritage when they grown up.
‘I can either support them in that or let them figure it out for themselves when they grow up.
‘It’s a desire for everyone to know where you come from and it’s inevitable, so if I can I want to do what I can to help.’
Tamra and Henry was granted clearance to visit his birth mother at a rehab centre four months ago, in February. The mom says she hopes Henry’s birth mother can develop a relationship with her son as he grows up.
Tamra added: ‘She asked me if she could hug him and I was ok with that and it was very emotional for all of us.
‘As a strong woman I want to help her become a strong woman, too. The best thing I can do with my love for Henry is to love her too and support her to get better.
‘We do want her in Henry’s life and we know it won’t be perfect and it is going to be a learning curve for us.
‘My wish is for her to be along for the ride through life with us, as another loving figure in Henry’s life.’
