Parenting

'A safe space for women to talk frankly': how a meetup app for new mothers was born


When Michelle Kennedy, 36, first became a mother she wasn’t prepared for the loneliness. “I’d scroll through Instagram and see photos of my girlfriends in the club while I was at home changing another nappy,” she says. “There’s nothing more lonely than being up at 3am doing a feed and seeing your old life carrying on without you.”

It was her experience of loneliness – as well as a professional awareness that there was a gap in the market for innovative tech products for women – that led Kennedy to create Peanut, a matchmaking app for mothers.

The app promises to show women “like-minded mamas near you” and has grown significantly in the two years since it was set up, with more than a million global users. Download it and you’ll be asked to describe the type of “mama” you are from a list of options including “hot mess”, “strictly organic”, or “always on vacay”, then you’ll be shown others nearby. The unusual name, Peanut, is based on the nickname Kennedy gave her first baby when she was pregnant.

Kennedy began her professional career as a lawyer, sidestepping into tech after helping a tech firm with legal advice. She helped found Bumble, working to develop tech for the dating industry for six years, and used this experience to shape Peanut.

“I wanted it to be fun, to break the ice and to gamify the experience,” she says, “instead of making it intimidating or making it feel like there is any element of rejection.”

There are a number of reasons why being a new parent can be lonely, Kennedy says. From taking time off work and away from social activities, to spending long periods of time alone with a baby. Plus, it’s not always easy to go out in public and there’s often nowhere to go. “It’s like mobilising an army to get out of the house when you have a newborn,” she says. You might also be free at antisocial times. “For example, you’ve been up all night, it’s finally 7am and the baby’s gone to sleep, but no one else is around.”

Despite this, it can be hard for new mothers to speak up. “It didn’t feel OK to say I’m feeling lonely, or worse, bored,” Kennedy says. “There’s a social stigma attached to feeling isolated and there’s an even bigger stigma attached to the fact that you’re not grateful to be a mum.”

Michelle Kennedy, CEO, Peanut.



Michelle Kennedy, CEO, Peanut. Photograph: Peanut

Kennedy wanted other mothers to feel less alone, so, when Finlay was just two years old, she set about creating Peanut. First, she created a business plan. “I worked out what I wanted to achieve, by when and what it would take to get there, in terms of building a team and financing the product,” she says. “Then I went to pitch.”

Venture capitalists (VCs) investing in the tech sector are overwhelmingly male, and female founders pitching products for women can encounter difficulties in persuading VCs of their potential. Kennedy recalls how one VC commented that their wife didn’t need another social network: “That made me want to scream.” But overall the response was positive. “I had my first term sheet within 24 hours from a male VC and we now have a team of investors who believe fully in the need for a tech platform for women.”

Peanut is now a team of 16 and free to use and join, so pre-revenue. Setting up and running an international tech company with two small children – Kennedy’s second child Nuala, is now four months old – has not been easy. “I have help and my husband and I are a real team,” she says. “I work silly hours to make sure I’m home for bathtime, then start working again in the evening. I also haven’t seen my friends in a while. But I love what I do and believe in what Peanut is building – there’s no greater reward than that.”

The app matches women based on their interests and the age of their children. “We build a profile of you,” Kennedy says. “It’s not just; I’m a mum and you’re a mum. We use commonalities to match you with women who are similar to you.” There are also community threads where mothers can have conversations and ask for advice.

Mothers who have written to Peanut say the app has connected them with women they otherwise wouldn’t have met, given them a network and helped when they’ve felt overwhelmed. But there has been hate mail, too. “We’ve had negative reactions from men who say we don’t support fathers,” Kennedy says. For now, Peanut is focused solely on women. “I say, go build your own app if you feel there’s a need, but there should be a safe space for women to talk frankly. For example, to say they’re worried about having sex after having a baby because their body has changed.”

When people hear Peanut is an app for lonely mothers, some still give her “the soft smile”, Kennedy says. “There’s always an element of, ‘Oh that’s nice and it’s for mums,’” she says. “But it’s not cute. It’s much more raw and real than that and it’s bloody hard work. This isn’t a cutesy product. There’s nothing twee about it.”

Since creating Peanut, Kennedy says she’s learned that parental loneliness is “more prevalent than any of us could ever know”. In a modern, digital world, it’s easy to foster superficial connections, she says, but perhaps more difficult to create connections that have substance. “The world is bigger, we can access anyone anywhere now. I can connect by commenting on someone’s post on Instagram,” she says. “But making intimate connections [can be more difficult], so these products are important.”

Kennedy has largely overcome her own loneliness. “There’s always elements of it,” she says. “But as a mother I’m much more able to reach out and ask for help when I need it, and, of course, Peanut has helped with that.”



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