Earlier this week you may have seen talk of a ‘lady drawer’ – something which Metro.co.uk writer Jessica Lindsay describes as ‘the worst idea ever’.
A ‘lady drawer’ is a drawer in your wardrobe or bedside table dedicated to all your guests… or ladies, if you will.
The idea is that after sex, the lady is able to make use of the drawer and find things that will be genuinely useful the next morning.
The problem with the creation of the original lady drawer, however, is that its contents were not great.
The man who tweeted out the concept had in his lady drawer: two (?) bottles of nail polish remover, tampons, scrunchies, a pregnancy test, wet wipes, and a dildo… which we can only assume has been used by all the other ‘frequent guests’.
I feel like every guy needs a “lady drawer” if you plan on having frequent guests. pic.twitter.com/wgjExZOlIt
— BassFather (@DaddyAllDay) January 11, 2020
These are bizarre choices, but the actual idea of having a drawer for ladies who sleep over is quite a thoughtful one.
Here, we share some suggestions for what you should actually put in said drawer, as no one wakes up after sex and thinks: ‘yes, I had better remove my nail polish’.
Things you should have in your lady drawer:
- Tampons
- Wet wipes and tissues to avoid the cum drip/the cup and run
- Hair ties
- Condoms
- A vibrator so she can finish the job
- Morning after pill
- A perfectly worn-in and oversized T-shirt for her to steal
- Some goddamn respect
- A post-sex bowl of freshly made gnocchi
- A little a salami, as a treat
- Kittens
- A blankie with the scent of home on it so she feels comfortable
- A jar of your tears
- Equal pay
- Her father, who went out for milk 12 years ago and never came back
- Mineral water, to rehydrate
- A decent cleanser to remove her makeup before bed
- Some proper shower gel, rather than the usual dish soap you keep in the tub
- A signed agreement to never ‘play devil’s advocate’
- Uber credit
- A DVD of Little Women
- A portable DVD player and television
- A compilation of only the Florence Pugh bits from Little Women and Midsommar
- A fresh, packaged toothbrush
- Mouthwash
- Painkillers
- Vitamin D gummies, because we’re all running low
- Her antidepressants, because she forgot to put them in her bag before going out
- A vegan steak bake
- The Death Note
- More pillows (because you definitely don’t have enough)
- The will to live
- 10 things she doesn’t hate about you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
- A poppy for respect
- Vaginal steam
- An engagement ring – always propose on the first date
- A CD of This Is The Last Time by The National in case she’s a post-sex crier
- The perfect LBD
- Your sexual health all-clear
- Her dignity back
- Spare pants that have been worn and signed by everyone else you’ve ever f***ed
Have we missed anything? Please do comment below with your suggestions.
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